I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
