went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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