i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm at about main and main street
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
