I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
