Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
