Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
