He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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