She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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