I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
