Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
