some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
