its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
