i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
