His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
