Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
