areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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