did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
