This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
