Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
