Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
