I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
