a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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