So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
