he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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