We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
