Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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