when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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