Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
