I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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