the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
