i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
