Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
