Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize