In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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