Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize