he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize