I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize