You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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