Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
