every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you had me at cake vodka
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The air was thick with penises
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize