i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
