There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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