sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
