we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Still dying that you shit outside
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
