i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
