Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
