I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
