i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
