Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
