My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
