I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
