My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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