i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
