everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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