my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
