Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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