been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
