I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
