she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Are my feet made of real feet?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
