Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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