margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
