So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Are we still banned from the library?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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