Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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