I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
