i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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