belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
