So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize